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Reintegration

This past deployment and homecoming were different than anything I was expecting. This was our first deployment with Dillon out of the home. I didn’t realize how much I lean on him while Spencer is gone. Dillon truly becomes my right-hand man. He helped with everything from driving kids around, maintenance man, snow blower, you name it that kid was willing to do anything I asked. Not saying my other kids don’t help because they do. We have been blessed with amazing children who help out a lot. 

COVID hit in March and brought home our other five children full time right as I was starting life coach training. I was also in school full time. What I pictured life looking like changed drastically overnight. My quiet house became overrun with children. We made it through and I was able to enjoy my children being home because I choose on purpose that it was going to be great. The older children helped the younger children and we all worked together. There were days, however, that I wanted to hide in my room and not come out at all.

In May it was decided that school would go virtual for the rest of the year and Spencer’s deployment was extended. My Mom told me I was bringing the children and going to California to the farm for a couple of months. I always do what my Mom tells me so of course, I drove across the country in the middle of a pandemic alone. 🙂 Kray was a senior in high school and decided to stay and work and make money for college. This worked out great for me as he was able to watch the house and pets.

I continued my schooling and coach training in California however, my children’s online schooling didn’t happen as they were too busy enjoying farm life and playing with cousins and grandparents. Good thing it didn’t really count. 

In July we made the trip back home to spend two weeks in quarantine before Spencer came home from deployment (I wanted to be able to pick him up). However, hours before his plane landed they changed his group from quarantining at home to quarantining on base. Go ARMY!! This was hard for all of us. That first night I fell apart and cried myself to sleep who wouldn’t right. Then I did some thought work and decided how I wanted to show up for myself, for him, and for our children being angry did not change the situation. I decided to look for the good things. We spent those two weeks playing and spending time together. 

Spencer got released from quarantine and then a week later I left to take Kray to Louisiana for college. Kray and I had a great time and spent way too much money setting up his college dorm.

I came home from Louisiana and Spencer was able to quarantine at home with us for two weeks. During those two weeks, Spencer and I had to learn to work together again. We have different ways of doing things as most couples do. I am a planner and want to schedule out everything and he just goes with the flow to include children doing their jobs and I’m more of a do it right when I ask kind of girl. It has all worked out and we are finding are grove. One day at a time. 

What I learned during this deployment is that each deployment is different and comes with its own set of challenges and triumphs. I can find the good in all of it. Life coach training really helped me to stay in control of my thoughts and feelings. I learned to question the story I was telling my self. When I would start to feel overwhelmed I would ask myself, my why for everything I was doing and if I wanted to keep on. The answer was yes more often than not. I am choosing the life I want to live and you can too. 

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