We all get married believing we are going to have the Happily Every After we always dreamed of. However, everywhere you look couples are breaking up. In the military, with all of the training, deployments, and long hours it seems that more couples end in divorce than those who make it. What is the difference? What sets those apart who stay together than those who end up divorced? With over 17 years as a military spouse, and being married for over two decades I have seen my fair share of couples who get divorces. The reasons vary but most lead back to the couple not feeling connected on some level. I have learned that all problems are thought problems, connections are formed in our thoughts. What we choose to think and feel about the other person is in our thoughts. So, if connections are formed in our thoughts would that mean the quality of our marriages is too? As I have come to learn this I have seen this played out with the women I work with and in my own life. When I stopped expecting Spencer to make me happy and just let him be my marriage improved. I still ask him to do things for me but I don’t make it mean anything about me when he doesn’t follow through. When he is gone I choose to think about him in a way that connects us. Some of my clients have told me at times they feel more connected to their spouse when he is gone than home. How is that possible? They think about them in a way that connects them, they are thinking thoughts such as I can’t wait for him to get home, I miss him, if he were home we would ….., I’m so lucky to be married to him. Can you see the power you have? You get to choose to be happy in your marriages? You get to choose to be connected with your spouse rather he is home, deployed, or gone for training. If you want help learning how to feel more connected to your spouse join me for a 30-min consultation where we’ll come up with a plan to help you feel more connected with your spouse.
