I never would have imagined when I got married that we would become a military family, but that’s what happened. There we were, expecting our third child and wondering how we were going to make ends meet. Spencer will you tell it was my idea to check out the military. I would say “no way was it my idea”. However, here we are 17 years later and the Army life has been both amazing and challenging. We have experienced things we never would have otherwise. We have lived in many parts of the US and in South Korea, where we had our last two babies. We have friends everywhere we travel. We have experienced 6 combat deployments, 1 hardship tour to Korea (that was worse than a deployment) and too many trainings and TDY’s to count.
For many years I had the belief that the Army was going to destroy our marriage. Every deployment I believed this was going to be the one that he decided he no longer wanted to be married to me. I believed that everything that went wrong was somehow the army’s fault. They controlled everything we could do from visiting family to where we lived. And they were always taking Spencer away when I needed him.
When I found life coaching I was able to let go of those beliefs. While some of those things are true (we do have to have leave approved for Spencer to go with us and he is assigned to certain duty stations), I can choose to visit family or live anywhere I want. I am choosing to move with my husband wherever the Army stations us. I am choosing to stay home and hang out with Spencer and not go visit family or I choose to go without him. Neither is right or wrong. Once I took that power back I went from surviving and telling myself how hard everything was to thriving. I am finding the enjoyment and allowing all of it. I no longer believe that the Army is in charge of my life. I am!
A little secret I’ll let you in on: your husband is choosing his life too. He is choosing to be a soldier. He is choosing to go where the military sends him. He is choosing you!
Is to help military wives get out of the mind set that they have to survive their lives. I have learned to THRIVE and I want to help as many military wives as possible do the same.
What THRIVING looks like:
~ Being connected with your spouse and children
~ Having a good cry if it is needed
~ Not allowing the circumstances in your life to control you
~ Accepting others as they are
~ Knowing you can handle whatever life throws your way
~ Allowing all your emotions
~ Loving your perfectly imperfect life